I'm looking at you through the glass,
don't know how much time has passed
Oh God it feels like forever, but no one ever tells you that
Forever feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head...

How do you feel? That is the question...
But I forget you don't expect an easy answer
When something like a soul becomes initialized and folded up like
Paper dolls and little notes, you can't expect a bit of hope
And while you're outside looking in, describing what you see
Remember what you're staring at is me

Cause I'm looking at you through the glass,
don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever, but no one ever tells you that
Forever feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head...

How much is real? So much to question
An epidemic of the mannequins contaminating everything
We thought came from the heart - but never did right from the start
Just listen to the noises - null and void instead of voices
Before you tell yourself It's just a different scene
Remembering is just different from what you've seen

Cause I'm looking at you through the glass,
don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever, but no one ever tells you that
Forever feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head...

And it's the stars, the stars that shine for you
And it's the stars, the stars that lie to you

I'm looking at you through the glass,
don't know how much time has passed
Oh God it feels like forever, but no one ever tells you that
Forever feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head.

***********************************************************************

I'm doing up more guitar graphics god knows why, but it's that notion where once you start you can't stop. That explains the new blog header aye. I didn't sleep last night, which make me book in camp rather earlier than usual today. Where the crickets were still cricketing and the silence of the early hours echoes down the vicinity. I swear, booking in camp during the wee hours of the morning feels weird. ANYWAY, i'm slightly shagged but not entirely. I'm still energetic enough to actually whiz through my photoshop, feeling very eager at every graphics i created. I know, i feel like such an amateur.

With more guitar graphics, i decided to send to shawn via msn, but i assume the dude's had entered himself into another dimension of gaming. Now, that explains the reallllyy long unreplied msn message haha. Oh, weimin, ma, i want photos lei! LOL. The blog is relatively dead since i assume no one visits anymore so sometimes i ponder, what's the point of updating it regularly haha. I don't see my usual taggers tagging. MAN, where are you guys? Nad, kopiboy~~, min? ETC. Grr.

I'm confused with this week. It's a 4 day work week because Friday there's some anniversary shit going on (yet again) and we're to report at SAFTI MI at 830am. Considering that i am living at the finest eastern part of Singapore, the tretcherous train ride is such a nice morning wake up call. Roar. And all of us will be staying on Friday night for some soccer and barbeque because mobilisation (if it happens) falls on the 3rd of Novem. Man, my life seems to get much more mundane than it is. It's like a confusing 4 day work week because everything seems to be on and off at the same time.

Alright whatever it is, i shall continue to do up more graphics and maybe turn in a little earlier lol. Byebye.

"...through the glass..."

Saturday and Sunday.

Man, this sucks. I've got to sum up my weekends because it's already Sunday. I know, no one loves Sunday unless the following day is a non-working day. Heh. My Sunday was rather jammed packed. Let me see, more cycling in the morning and tennis but it halted in the late afternoon with thunderous showers in the East side. What a bummer. Went over to Dylan's place to slack and watched some dvd's. The heavy rain, and Dylan's uber comfortable sofa can make me doze off anytime soon man, with his air-con blasting woot.

I swear at that moment, Singapore felt like winter.

Anyway, headed to Simpang Bedok for dinner at the all time favourite Spize, haha. With huge servings of my Chicken Fajitas, it made my hungry tummy happy that's for sure. Not forgetting, iced-limau's to quench down the dry throat. Heh. So the Sunday was pretty much well spent, but work week depression kicked in way too early yeah. As for Saturday, i didn't attend Zouk's Halloween party, land of the damned (which now i think i sorta regretted haha), but i was at Home Club instead slacking with the usual weekenders while they sell off their flea marketed items. It was okaye, somehow i was in a dreamy and hazy mood because the whether yesterday outside the club with the strong gushes of aircon coming from the club with the shiny bright sun in the sky made me felt as though i was in perth. Sunny but yet cooling. Obviously, this made me all dreamy and stoned out. HAHA. Oh and i had a green apple candy floss in my hand, how apt.

So, the flea ended say around 9pm and we headed for dinner somewhere in boat quay which was quite depressing cause the food suck. But later on ended up at Laselle for some building cum architecture admiring. Tempted for some tau huay at selegie but i just walked past it since it was jammed pack, with humans. TCC at paradiz centre it was. MAN, the scary electric blue eye-shadow lady at the cafe doesn't need a loud hailer if she needs one because her voice is pretty boomful enough. And body actions that might even scare the ants that are crawling nearby her. Well, my attempt to talk louder than her failed, because the rest didn't want to acknowlegde me as their friend if i were to do so. Sian, they not sporting one lei. I've got photos of yesterday but i'm waiting for WEIMIN to send me heh.

So ya, all hail the loud and scary electric blue eye shadow lady.

Ok, i want to go Dempsey road, particulary Oosh cause i fell in love with the ambience there. I don't care i want to go Oosh. Period.

The other time at giraffe with the army buddies, we planned to eat at Brewerks for our next dinner outing. Okay, that psyched me up a little because Brewerks food are really gigantous. As in huge, like big time. Carl's Junior burgers are way smaller than they are compared to Brewerks. Okay, so i may exaggerate a little. But then again, really Brewerks servings are seriously a double mouthful. Heh.

I slept around 4plus last night doing up some graphics. Shawn requested some graphically inclined wallpapers that has guitars in them. Well, i did 2, one with an electric guitar and a normal one. Well, i sorta liked them though haha, yay more additions into my portfolio. Hope you liked it too bro. Visuals below.



Which one do you prefer?

Hmmm.

Man, my lower back is aching like a major bitch. Seriously, but that doesn't stop me from playing tennis this morning with the cousins. I know, to wake up early on a friday especially on my off day sounds just wrong, when one could snuggle in bed and wake up at a more profound timing say 3pm. HEH. But yeah, the back ache lingers from yesterday's ippt. God knows what happened but i sprained my back after doing my sit ups. ARGH.

Ok this will be a quick post.

I'm waiting for my maid to finish using the loo before i could shower. I'm off to town to meet up with the rest of the Army gang for dinner at Seoul Garden, a farewell dinner for Taufique. Okay byebye.

"....i'm sprung...."

I'm Semi Okaye

I've got tonnes to type, but the corrupted mind seems to hold everything back. I've got feelings to vent out but i'm trying to keep myself sober. But i know bottling up things are not the way to solve things. I can't seem to express it into words because the brain became dysfunctional not too long ago. When things in the mind seems to evoke riots and wars causing such turmoil is equivalent to a slow and agonising torture.

Argh. Life is just unpredictable. There are moments where you're feel as though you're the most luckiest in the world where everything seems to fall in place just for you. BUT mostly, the feelings seem to degrade themselves to self discriminating and hurtful. Well, apparently being all emo seems to be a way of life for most people. Such fiasco may make people ponder and actually self reflect. Which currently, i'm trying to take a slow plunge into self reflection.

I've done so many wrong things in life that i can't seem to find the balance of good and bad life. I should repent.

I always like things to go as they are and i'll accept it whatever that's gonna happen. Somehow, this makes me feel sad because to have things to go as they are, are not what I WANT. Oh. See, we humans are selfish, everything is all better if the trail were actually followed to our roots, to have things our way. Well, i've got to accept changes and go through them whether i like it or not because no one has way much sugar in their life to live everything they've gone through are sweet.

I've got friendship issues in my mind but the problem is more of myself. I've always make such weird accusations and assumptions in my mind causing me to actually trouble myself thinking of these unnecessary thoughts that involves friends. Now why should i bother in the face place when all these are just mere devil talking? Argh.

Okok, that's it for now. I'm gonna seek comfort in my own solitude where the mind evolves and take the changes willingly.

"...argaefgaeF?..."

OKAY i am back








"...like whatever..."

Hello.

I'm feeling all squashed up and undenyingly bored.

I think i'm facing a midlife, quarterlife crisis or whatever it is the past few days. Argh. I hate such raw and discriminating feeling. How isit discriminating? Well, apparently when i'm all emo (not my usual emo but my more than depressing emotional self) I sense self discrimination. I know it's so random and weird. But yeah, i feel hurt and confused of everything that is going on in my life which sometimes made me put a huge question mark on my friggin' face.

Oh well.

Again, the computer is dead, i'm living on free internet and free use of computer in camp nowadays. How degrading haha.

Back to my emo degrading and stupidly self discriminating self again.

"...man..."

Man This Sucks

Hey guys, am currently in camp using one of my branches internet aided computer. Okaye, my computer is temporarily down, yet again and as tech savvy as i am, i depend on technology way too much now because i realised i can be quite handicapped without it. Argh. So i won't be blogging and msn-ing as much as before, only when opportunity knocks. So yeah, the camp is rather mundane now because most of the QM and HQ people are gone for paintball shooting. Argh.

This is so depressing and irritating but it ain't that bad because i have my RP's with me. But then again, it feels like a weekend when it's only MID WEEK. Haha. Okaye will be done for now, and foresee a long stretch of stagnant entries. Well shit happened in camp yesterday, and i wasn't particularly pleased with what happened because i tried hard to cover other people's asses but it was to no avail and that's another story. Argh. Anyway, that's that for now. I'll blog when i have the time and yes a better computer. LOL.

=/

"...until we meet again..."

Festive Occassions and Ipods

Hello! how's your Hari Raya holidays? =)

So Hari Raya was pretty much spent at home infested with family members coming from all directions of the world. Yet again, the stupid comp decides to pull a fast one on me and won't detect my memory card. So for photos of Hari Raya, please hold on while i give a huge spank to my pc.

I swear my family members could bring the house down, literally. With their huge laughters, screaming kids and their supermassive gossips of all sorts. Well, as english orientated my family are, we still have the typical Malay family trait where good food and hot gossips not forgetting hyperactive little children filled the atmosphere especially during Hari Raya.

A widespread of delicacies ranging from ketupats and rendangs were the most highly consumed food of such occassion, not forgetting the massive increase of cholesterol, heart burns and calories. How such indulgence can be so sinful. Tsk. All these food intake accompanied by fizzy drinks that causes such weird and funky turmoils in the tummy. Hurhur, i swear it's all in the name of Hari Raya.

Of course highlights were the green packets, sort off. Considering i'm 22, i don't receive as much as before as a matter of fact, i'm giving it out again this year. How depressing. LOL. Ok the whole relative visiting saga ended off rather early say around 6pm. And surprisingly, i went to town later in the night. HAHA tell me about it, i felt weird going town on the night of Hari Raya, not in my traditional get up of course. Met up with Rongsen, Weimin + Sister and Anny. After much consumption of traditional mah-lay-ren food in the day, dinner was greeted with a pile of fish and rice at Fish and Co. HAH. I swear, i need to go for a cycle after the high cholesterol intake. It's scary i tell you.

Okaye, i'm on off tomorrow and Liyana decides to go town for some, chillin. We'll see if it happens haha but i need my coffee that's for sure. Oh, more visitings done today and i still feel bloated with all the fizzy drinks i gobbled down at the different houses. Man, such intoxication. Oh have you seen the new ipod nano, well it looks weird but to a certain extend it's rather worth it since it could play video and stuffs. Oh, the ipod video now has 80gb and 130gb respectively. HOW ANNOYING, when i got mine it's only 30gb and it's the same price as the 80gb NOW, wah lao irritating. I feel like trading my ipod video for the 80gb choice. bleahz.


"...ipod fiesta..."

It's Hari Raya today.

Where ketupats and green packets are the highlights of it all, where array of food decked the tables and fizzy drinks fill our tummies. The gathering of families under one roof, seeking forgiveness amidst of the joy and laughter. Here i am, cladded in my silver grey traditional get up whizzing this entry away while waiting for the house to be jam packed with the other family members.

I sat and ponder, Hari Raya, a day of triumph and rejoice. A day where past mistakes were forgiven and a day where we are thankful for everything.

Hari raya; much loved. I'll blog later because i hear kids screaming infront of my gate piercing themselves to grab the chocolates on my table or the evil green packets. I think they'd prefer the latter.

Salam Lebaran ya'll muslims out there.


"...eid mubarak..."

High Hive!

I slept at 3 last night just because i was spring cleaning the entire house by myself. The parental is away and she'll be back tonight. So to give that i'm-a-fillial-son look when she comes back, i decided to whip up my mops and brooms to make the abode spick and span before Hari Raya. With the aid of my trusted vacum cleaner all modes of dust were zapped out of my home. I was Mr Clean with my red cape, cladded in tights and blue undies with a mask over eyes killing all germs and bacteria, with my detergents and pails. Yah whatever. I swear, i'm like a house wife, well a house son in this case.

Well, i never knew i was allergic to the dust because right now, i've got hives.

HOW SWELL.

If you guys do not know what hives are... well they're basically;

Hives (medically known as urticaria) are red, itchy, raised areas of skin that appear in varying shapes and sizes. They range in size from a few millimeters to several inches in diameter. Hives can be round, or they can form rings or large patches. Wheals (welts), red lesions with a red "flare" at the borders, are one manifestation of hives. Hives can occur anywhere on the body, such as the trunk, arms, and legs.

A defined term of rashes la. LOL.

Hives are very common. Although they can be annoying, they usually resolve on their own over a period of weeks, and are rarely medically serious. Some hives are caused by allergies to such things as foods and medications, but the large majority of cases are not allergic, and no specific cause for them is ever found. Although this is frustrating to patients, such common maneuvers as changing diet, soap, detergent, and makeup are usually not helpful in preventing hives and for the most part are not necessary.



Well, i don't have it on my chest like the picture shown la, but i have it all over my arms, legs and neck. Cool aye? So yah, i'm on mc today though after serious bacteria attack on my ever so delicate skin. Plus how unglamorous can one be during Hari Raya, if one is all blotchy and red. TSK.

Anyway, tomorrow is half day in camp because it's Hari Raya Eve. (=

Okaye, i'm gonna prepare for break fast now but i'm still weaving my ketupats and i'm lazy to dig for food in the fridge, i shall call for pizza. Hurhur.

Happy eve of Hari Raya eve ya'll.

"....hives hives...."

Oh shoot.
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I've got a blog-block. I initially knew what i'm gonna rant about but somehow, after the nice shower and finally settled down infront of my half-fucked pc; the mind went blank. How appropriate. Alright, pardon me but i'm gonna continue this entry later, i hope. The mind seriously went blank and currently the only thing that lingers in this weird mind of mine is nothing but a peeled banana.

How RANDOM is that??

I'll check back later if the mind managed to actually put its pieces back together and have the engine running once again. Now, i'm just a sitting duck. Bleahz.

"...how stupid?..."

Won't it be cool if Singapore had winter?

A carpet of frosty snow greets our feet.
Hazy puffs accompanied with every laughter.
Snowballs flying through the air in the midst of joy.
Snow angels frolicking throughout the barren patches of snow.
Where the coldness, warmths the heart.
Isn't it all good if Singapore had winter?

I know, i'm all Christmassy and it's only October AND Hari Raya is just around the corner. I swear, i've got my festivals mixed up in my life causing serious weird festive joy-ness at all the wrong timings. I've always loved Christmas, i think Christmas is the best season ever. Town looks at it's utmost best with huge hues of red and green being splattered all over, and the spirit of giving (ok maybe not la) filled the air. I swear, Christmas rocks.

I remember vividly when i was still a kid, my uncle would actually drive me around in his car through Orchard everytime when the Christmas light up begins. I remember one year where the decorations were toys-themed and i was shrieking with joy looking all bewildered and facial full of awe and disbelief. Toys were hung from trees, choo choo trains (as what locomotives were called then remember?) decked the roads and pretty colourful lightings filled the entire stretch of town.

It was a remarkable sight.

Being a kid during such a festive holiday brings out the joy of the season. Their cheery yet cheeky laughter, inquisitive but yet direct comments, their on-the-go energy that makes us adults feel like such wasted bunch of humans. Turning back the hands of time to be a kid again would be a dream for all of us but then again, not all dreams can be turned into reality yeah.

Oh well, all i wanna say is that, Christmas is coming and i don't care if i'm skipping and forgetting all the other holidays that comes before it because Christmas rocks! LOL.

A quick update: Well yesterday was all good except that i still have my superior breathing down my neck yet again, i took a cab back home because i was darn lazy to grab a bus ride back. Apparently, the Monday blues lingered a little longer than usual haha. Took a cab with Shawn and dropped him off at his place and i snoozed all the way back home. That's that for a Monday. Today, i settled some work in camp and knock off say around 6plus, but it's fine since breaking fast at my aunt's place at Woodlands. I just got home by the way. Yet again, took the bus to Woodlands with Shawn, a damn long journey it was. But it was ok la, talked cock and stuff so it wasn't that boring haha. Great dinner it was since pasta was on the menu haha, i dig pasta big time. hurhur. Thanks to the uncle for the lift home though =)

Oh before i forget;

HAPPY 22ND BIRTHDAY SUFYAN!!

Okaye, i'm stoning now, and it's apparently quite fun, oh yah do you know my eye still twitches and now i've got a stiff neck to go along with it. How swell. =/

"...tame my mind..."

Preventative Measures for Eye Twitch

Because stress and/or anxiety often causes eye twitch, one of the best preventative measures is to keep stress levels down. Another tip is to make sure you get plenty of rest and minimize your caffeine consumption. It is also a good idea to have annual eye examinations to protect your visual acuity and maintain good overall eye health. Eye twitches can be bothersome, and even a little frightening when first encountered, but generally they are harmless and will resolve without treatment. The causes of eye twitch are readily known and if you experiencing severe symptoms or eye twitches last longer than a week, consult a physician or optometrist/ophthalmologist immediately.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

I CAN'T MINIMIZE MY CAFFEINE CONSUMPTION!?!!
I've been an avid coffee drinker since i was 12!
I can't simply reduce my daily coffee intake!
I'll die!
I live on coffee, i still got a bag of coffee beans that's yet to be grinded, and i was thinking of grinding them later. AND NO i won't reduce my coffee intake level.

But i got to agree, i need plenty of rest because obviously work is a killer and obviously the stress level is the cause of my twitching right eye. Now now, i've got 234 days until i ORD, but who's counting. And those ORD-ing earlier than me, the envious desiring part of me will not bring me down, cause i'll be ORD-ing with avengence when it's MAY 2007 ok!ROAR.

My throat is slightly inflammed, but i don't care i'll still eat my halal bakwa and all the other heaty stuffs because they rock my socks off. So yeah i'll be sick by Hari Raya and i don't give a shit because people may think, i've been working my ass off causing the dreadful fever to overwhelm me on such festivity. But then again, work is still a killer, so i'm not lying; i've been working my ass off without doubt so i'm not surprised if i fall sick next week. I've got a damn low immunity level in my body and falling sick is as easy as ABC's for me. LOL.

P.S. Someone logged into my Friendster account and added up tonnes of women now and view my entire friends list. It's funneh shit. LOL.

"...i just wanna rock you..."

The Super Short Weekend

My upper right eyelid is twitching, yet again. It's been twitching for god knows how long and it's bugging the shit out of me. It twitches at an interval of every 10secs and when it does, i feel as though someone tied a string to my eyelash and kept tugging it from a far. Ergh. They say, when the eye twitches it means something, and if it's on the left eye, it's unlucky and the right is obviously the opposite. Where's the good fortune that comes by it?! It irritates me to the bone because my right eye is twitching endlessly! I'm developing a facial spasms as i type. I am not a human. TSK.

Like i mentioned earlier, Friday was all good. Supper at Bukit Timah and late nights. I finally managed to upload the photos because the cranky computer decided to be nice this time round. Everytime when i meet up for anything, photowhoring became the essential part of the meet up. SO obviously, photos taken were random, retardedly posed, whimsical actions and seriously un-photogenically taken; at times.





Saturday was all about Geylang and Town. I swear, i've never seen so much malay's in my life, at Geylang that is. No offence la but they come sprawling all over that tiny area swarming like bees. There were the Mat's and Minah's, the typical aunties and even some other new found social genre's that i've never seen before. I swear, i'm just amazed by the whole Malay community when it comes to Hari Raya shopping at Geylang. It's quite overwhelming. Amacammmmmmmm! lol.

Went to town as usual, for late dinner and coffee. Yes, my daily dosage of coffee. So, didn't really do much in town, cause i was a little tired and i just slacked my way through at the sturdy starbucks chair of plaza sing. People watching, though it's a little late for that. Knock off from town around 2am. Accompanied Rongsen to Peace Center to get his Standard Chartered thing done where i bumped into Shawn along the way, haha and town is indeed a small place. We're both were heading home then. And stuffed myself into the cab and home it was. Oh this reminds me, Saturday was like bump-into-my-army-friends day for me. Not only did i bump into Shawn, but way from Geylang i've been bumping into hell alot of my army friends along the way, haha now not only town is small, but the country we're living in, is small to begin with!

My goodness, this entry sounded so mundane and horribly written. Somehow, nowadays i can't seem to express myself profoundly or creatively. There's a huge mental block somewhere somehow, causing such creative juices being put on hold. And this sucks, because i'm portraying myself being such a huge big bore. =/

I've been serving in NS way too long that's for sure.

If realization were to surfaced, i'll be needing a dictionary when i type my next blog entry. How degrading. AH! Army is such a killer. Ok the afternoon now seems rather warm but cloudy, i hope it rains and pours until the damn country gets flooded, and you'll see me swimming around freely like a mermaid in the ocean. Now, that sounded wrong. Whatever it is, can someone crank up the weather to make it pour like no one cares because it's freaking hot the past few weeks!

"....gulp...."

A Quick One

It's the weekends, and trust me, it'll just go by within a blink of an eye. Alright, i have to be all optimistic and say THE WEEKENDS ARE HERE TO STAY! even if they are not. =/

Okaye, a quick refresher. Friday came along and to Bukit Timah we went for some supper at Al-Ameen. We = Taib, Sufyan and Khai2. Since Shawn lived in the vicinity, we called him down as well for more late night goodness accompanied with prata's, pattaya's and cino's. Well more photos to be uploaded, but my computer and my memory card reader is being a punk. I only managed to upload 3 damn photos of last night and the memory card reader went into a hynoptic trance and died on me. Which i am still trying to revive it with CPR and god knows what. Grr.

I'm off to town now, for my usual weekend towning with the ever so usual weekenders, which is fun nonetheless. But i'll be having a quick pit stop to Geylang for some Hari Raya shopping and bargaining, what an aunty. Alright. More updates later yeah.

So i've blogged, so here. =P

P.S. I need my coffee, big time.

"...more stories..."

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