What's Left of It
I figured that sooner or later if you don't put the effort to keep things strong, bonds will just weaken as time goes by. Unfortunately, as much as i do not want to perceive such beliefs are true, reality took a snap back in life. I didn't wake up from some unpleasant dream, but how i wished i did. Sometimes life can take it's downfall relatively bad, but like every other fall; you pick yourself up, shrug the dirt off you and continue whatever you were doing.
Life goes on, thats what we all say. Yes it does, but memories always lingers. The good or the bad. It sucks, sometimes these memories can definitely be a reality but some people rather leave it as it is. It totally sucks when some of your really close friends decided to drift away because we don't see each other often anymore.
Occupied with work they say.
Occupied with the other half they say.
Financial circumstances are being blamed, but they didn't blame one important factor.
Themselves.
We always stand strong in our stride, that we tend to put pride above it all. I got to agree that work do take a part of my life away, unfortunately i do not have the other half to blame too (or maybe i do) but doesn't compromisation takes place in this situation?, i also do agree there are times the greens are causing a strain in my pockets but do i ever forget my friends even in "crucial" times mentioned? It takes two hands two clap. It takes another friend to make a friendship work. I guess a simple hello will cause the world to end. Or maybe a simple act of concern might just drop a bomb somewhere. I totally do not get this situation, and you know what; i may get these arrows to point back at me and say, "Not everyone is as free as you."
Does it hurt? It fuckin' hell does.
You know why i don't bother to fight back or stand up for my own rights? Because sometimes people would rather pin point at other people mistakes and not realising their own. Oh they'll definitely fight for their own rights, but why bother when pride and ego gets in the way. We all want to be right someway or another don't we?
Despite how busy i can be, at least i took the effort to say a simple hello. We live in a world full of technology, if people do not realise that. Or maybe sometimes they've never heard a thing called a handphone, or say what's that thing that dominates the computer....ah yes the MESSENGER. Geez. If friendship is to be accounted as money, i've got nothing else to say because money do make the world go round and makes you forget the important things life.
I personally know that friendship is, priceless.
So the bond we all used to have was for a moment's sake? The promises, were nothing more but vacant agreements. So the good times ended just like that. Well, the last tentative meet up was the last straw since no one took the effort to push the event further than it was, so i guess that's how it's going to be. There's no use dropping hints, clues, sarcasm (which in fact everyone in this world do, even if they deny so lol) because sometimes people can be uber dense and dumb to even realise it. It hurts to type this out because maybe i'd rely on this tiny ray of hope somewhere in me, but trust me it is vanishing really soon, or maybe it has.
So why bother, since they don't bother right? This is statement is interesting per se.
I'll apologise on my behalf, for the unnecessary attempts to meet up, the control freak that i am, the planner that you always need, the decision maker.I apologise for my razor sharp tongue, I apologise for my frankness. I apologise for all the mistakes and the wrong things i've done. Have i not apologise enough? No? Oh yeah lastly;
I apologise for being the better half.
All the best to your future endeavours. If memories are left as it is, then let it be; there's no point forcing the world to be as pleasant to my concern. I've learnt much from our friendship and the things i went through with you guys are cherished deeply, i hope you guys learnt a thing or two from me too. My conscience is clear, all i seek was a little happiness for what we share for a deed we promised back then. We had a mighty share of laughter and joy, but then again all good things have to come to an end yeah.
P.S. You think i don't miss you guys, you think i don't feel hurt and sad writing this, think twice.
P.P.S. The rainy weather at this wee hour and the emo song is totally rubbing this in. RAH.
"...at least do have a proper goodbye..."
People of the world, I left Zouk.
Don't worry, i'm not jobless haha. I'll be still happily working as a designer somewhere near Clarke Quay.
P.S. Don't hesitate to ask me any questions but via msn only. Thanks! :)
A Random Note
Some promo. LOL.
I uploaded a string of photos on Facebook which caused quite a stir of comments and hoohaa's. LOL. Well, i can't blame them. I posted SOME photos taken back during my polytechnic days and a couple of videos when i got sabo-ed at Bedok Reservoir during my 18th birthday. Where hair were all in the wrong styles, clothes look relatively terrible, and unglamourousness was our middle names. Oh well, i really miss my tertiary years. Attending lectures in those super mundane and vacuum sucked theatres, skipping classes for waking up late and 3 times you'll get an F hurhur. Doing the most outrageous things one could imagine but yet we kept telling outselves how much we hate school because of the crazy drivened project days.
I miss being back in school, especially back in Temasek Design School. =(((((((((
As much as i miss my polytechnic days i miss my HQ army friends too. I guess i'll organise a dinner event soon yeah. So Shawn, Sufyan, Sheikh, Hanming, Hakim, Etc HEAR THAT ALRIGHT!? haha. Need to have some pretty good dinner, good catch up sessions over a cuppa haha.
I've got one or two issues to blog about on how certain things are how they are now, particularly friendship related. But i can't seem to be in the right mood, situation or whatever to rant out my feelings. I kept surpressing it, i guess one fine day; i'll find the right words and feelings to note down my two cents worth. Like they say, bottling up your feelings are never good.
Went down St James last Friday for some event. Honestly i've got no clue about the event and all. I just attended because i got invited and also FREEBIEEES. Aiyo can't blame me, i am still a true blue Singaporean alright. Apparently, it's some magazine called Smitten Anniversary. I swear i've never of such low key Female/Cleo orientated magazine ever. Met up with alot of my Design fellas and it was a ball! Met up with my Zouk colleagues there as well haha. The fashion show was horrible, well part of it. So self entertainment and photowhoring moments took over our lives, for that random moment that is haha. Enjoy!
"How you are my hero
How you're never here though
Remember times when you put me on your shoulders
How I wish it was forever you would hold us
Right now I'm too young to know
How in the future it will affect me when you go
You could have had it all
You, me, and mum y`know
Anything was possible" - Glasvegas
"...how are you my hero?..."
Dedicated to all true blue Singaporeans. =D
For the moment there, i thought i've got my muse doing it's work for a perfect entry but nooooo. As my cranky pc took forever to load blogger, my muse packed it's bag and left for another vacation yet again.
Hmph.
I'm left with nothing but a big empty zero for an entry. Well if you'd consider this an entry, then it is la. This is disappointing. =/
"...com'on give the inspiration..."
Desire.
Hmm. I love living in the east but somehow or rather right now i wished i was somewhere else. Another part of Singapore, another estate. I wished i was living at Bukit Timah, or Holland Village or even maybe Serangoon Gardens. I love chilling at a cafe, sipping my favourite coffee accompanie with a slice of cake and watch the world goes by. Yes, the east do provide such ambience and facilities but i guess my eyes are tired of whatever that is the norm here.
Well it doesn't mean that other areas has naked women or men walking down the streets or such (i wish!), a change of sight and atmosphere would do me good. I'm proud with the eastern version of Holland V, Siglap. The cafes are great, the food are gastronomical and it's a smally quaint town bustling with their very own activities. Trust me, i frequent Siglap almost twice a week. But i'm tired of the same old sights and all.
It'll be great to have my car strolling down the streets of Sixth Avenue with my friends chilling at a cafe nearby. To the 2am dessert shop that i always desire, and maybe grab some gourmet meats at Holland Village. I shall marry an ang moh then and venture to the world of Barbarella without any guilt. Hurhur.
It's 3am and i'm having weird desires. How nonsensical can i get?
I've got nothing much to blog now, maybe another day. I'm tired. Goodnight.
"...could you be happy?..."
MASSIVE ENTRY (after so long hurhurhur)
I guessed i've procrastinated enough and i've decided to fill this page with photos and whatsnot. Honestly, i wanted to post up the photos one by one. Trust me, by the time i'm done; it'll be next Raya. Oh yah, i changed the header after eons of years not touching or editing any of it. I thought i'd lost my skills heh. I AM STILL IN LOVE WITH PHOTOSHOP OKAYE. HAH. And yes my coughs are not cured yet, do not ask me why.
Anyway, had Botak Jones somewhere in September with Nadi. Well, Nadi wanted to try the damn good food with the damn good price since forever and finally, it has satisfy her tastebuds. It's my first eating their burgers though and i thought their burgers were dope. Their patties were thick and non-dry, slabbed with a piece of cheddar and whatever that goes into a burger. It was a succulent swallow. The smoky grilled after taste pretty much perfected the whole american burger concept. IT WAS GOOD. As for the whoopass chilli cheese fries, it was a huge plate of sin. It was so good and the serving were extremely huge that it took us forever to even finish half of it. So yeah, with the burger meal accummulated to a price of $7.50 (inclusive of 2 side dish) is really worth money. Now it's time to salivate with the photos below taken from Nadi's blog.
The next day, despite the F1 race i managed to go to Nadi's place for our cookout. Together with Sofi, Zak and Din. Mexican was the answer! It was extremely good (and yes this is self appraisal here HAHA) We started late and it was a mad rush to break fast. Technically we threw in everything, that sort off might taste good haha and recipes were followed thoroughly.. well not all that is. From tacos, to nachos, we had chilli corn carne, from quesidillas to even tortillas. For dessert, nothing beats mexican flan, a tad sweet though but it was good. I WANT MORE COOKOUTS! And photos below do show i'm pretty much am a glutton especially when it comes to good food. Hee.
This was rather impromptu, but yeah went over Din's place for his Raya open house last week and this was ultra last minute. But not to fret, he stays right behind me haha, so it's cool. Met up with Nadi, Sofi and Mona. We couldn't help it but camerawhoring really was the answer at Din's place, since waiting for Din to get his baju melayu get up seemed forever. AND I AM IN LOVE WITH HIS DSLR. Which i am keen on getting one now, i'll leave this story later.
AND YES, i had my uber belated birthday dinner with some of my peeps from everywhere and anywhere. HAHA. I love huge gatherings, but i'm sick of planning it. Then again, you have to do it yourself to get what you want aye? Can someone else please plan something like this another day? Haha. Anyway, had dinner at The Rice Table. The food were relatively good, the array of dishes left us spoilt with choices SO buffet was the answer! And yes happy birthday to me! HOHO.
Presents received. A manhattan portage bag from my oh so dear design pals, a wireless mouse and a thermo mug from shawn and mel; much appreciated bros!, a notebook from khai2 =) and a HANNAH MONTANAH HANDBAG from SUFYAN. I'm lost for words.
Thanks all for attending the dinner and the wonderful gifts hoho.
YET AGAIN, after Din's impromptu open house, we all decided that we should visit all of our places for Hari Raya and we had it on the following Monday. It's one of the best Hari Raya adventures and man i can't wait for the movie marathon we're having on the 24th! Joi. Oh yah. Din brought his SLR, so i went high with it. heh.
Alright after all those activities, here's some self indulgence and cravings. You guys all know i lost my wallet like a month ago. So i've been walletless and i've been telling everyone not to buy me a wallet for my birthday because i'm getting one myself. I'm rather peculiar about wallets, so i'd rather get it myself. =) So here's the latest wallet purchase. Bought all the way from Tokyo and it's the Burberry Black Label. It's sleek, manly and classy. Though my friend is still in Tokyo, he managed to snap up some pics for me. =D I shan't disclosed the price but it's relatively cheap for the brand! WOOTZ.
Apple released their latest macbook and i don't really like it. I've been wanting to buy a macbook, so the wait was relatively disappointing. Well not entirely i guess. It's sleek with the metallic shades but i guess the part that urks me the most is the colour combination. I don't really fancy the black keyboard and certain interfaces whereas the other parts are silver. I'd rather have it plain black or white. The mouse touch pad is interesting though. Oh well, now i don't know if should get the new macbook or not. Pro or just macbook. Crap.
ANYWAY, i've got another wishlist and all tech savvy. Yes, technology took over my yearns and needs. After falling in love DSLR photo quality, i want one myself. Din wanted to sell me his but i think he's kidding. But somehow at times he sounded serious but i told him to enjoy it for his upcoming Japan trip. I went around looking for a DSLR earlier and fell in love with the Canon DSLR and it costs $1099, now i've yet to include flash, lens and such. But i'm damn sure i'll be getting a DSLR.
I'm getting a macbook. Enough said. heh.
Well, i need an external hard disk to transfer my stuff over, i swear my old pc couldn't take much shit nowadays. I've got to uninstall itunes because it staggers my songs everytime i surf the net or on photoshop. It irritates the shit out of me, so what am i using now? Winamp. -.-"
HAHA YES I WANT A DS LITE. I know, it's very unlike me to get a game console but i've gotten my Wii so a DS lite would be good to kill time in the bus or whatsoever. I have no clue why am i not a PSP fan, i swear something is definitely wrong me.
LASTLY, i've been using my phone for relatively long close to 2 years i think haha. So i've decided to settle on Nokia E66 in black. But i want the N71 as well. ARGH ARGH. So yeah, my craves are rather demanding to my wallet and i can feel the pain but i really want this items so so so bad. WAHAHA. Ok good night all. I feel tired just typing this entry.
"...radar..."
I've got a million and one photos to post but the amount scares me everytime i decide to upload them. So definitely, procrastination is the answer. Heh. I posted 3 photos above, of 3 different occassions of whatever happened the past few days. It was all good, fun stuff i tell you. Alright, while i make procrastination my middle name; i shall do some household chores. To kill time, and find another appropriate hour to upload those shitloads of photos. Hurhur. Ok bye.
P.S. The birthday dinner was good, thanks to all that came. =D Much love guys; with or without the Hannah Montana handbag -.-"
P.S.S lol YAY YAY JALAN RAYER TOMORROW! Fun fun
P.S.S.S HAHA i want more biennale orientation gimmicks. I LOVE EM!
P.S.S.S.S Photos are up on Facebook though. heh.
Ok dah tu ajer.
HAHA. When I Grow Up Parody, tastefully done by my dear students from TP. Pretty cute i tell you. I swear to god, the public looked super harrassed mentally and physically. HAHA.
Check this out. Singapore's very own MALE Pussycat Dolls. haha. They sure do beat the girls above with "subtle" flamboyance and grace. Not forgetting lust. Hurhur.
Coughhhs*
The coughs are fucking irritating that i feel like ripping my throat, lungs, tonsils, bah whatever so that it'll stop. The last time i had such coughs was way back during the Tekong days, and that was the Tekong cough. GRRR. Oh well.
Sumpah, aku batok sampai mati nanti!
Anyway, i went down newton food centre the other day. And it was a random pit stop, but then again the bus ride was random. I got ultra bored and dragged Yan out for some random eats and of course releasing our inner makciks, making us sound and look as whacked as they are. But being a true blue Singaporean, nothing beats being a makcik.
Ooi, makcik kaypoh oi!
Well random bus ride it was when we couldn't think of anything else to do, took 67 wanting to stop at Choa Chu Kang or whatever that caught our eyes along the way. Geylang at night was a sight to behold, besides the even lorongs to be full of action and the odd ones are just bah. It was like in Vegas, but more sleazier and localized. First idea, to call up Shawn for some random meets, but the fella was being a domestic son that day by doing chores. Now, that's a good boy bro. Our butts were asleep not even halfway through the journey, so we knocked off at Newton for random chicken wings. Oh well, the answer back home was a quick train ride because the butts were sore by then.
Ambik kau yan, with the chickens off course.
OH met up with Serene and bro yesterday for some shopping, and unexpected hair extension-ing. Obviously not for me. I bought nice shirts and all after the whole hairy experience. I sat in the salon, mesmerized by the real looking extensions. Ripped off from dead chick's head or something, but it felt uber real. Well they kept saying it was real, but for me hair re-attached to the head again is FAKE. WAHAHA. Like wigs. So what if they are made of real hair, treated and stylized, it's still not our own. BUT the extensions on Serene were rather good, it blended well with her hair though, i don't have photos of the end product, but i do have photos of her looking rather retarded during the process. hehehe
It's 4am and i can't sleep. My coughs are horrible, and it's having a life of it's own. Hari Raya still lingers and i wished i could turn back the hands of time, i miss the first day of raya nonetheless, it was pure goodness.
ANYWAY. what do you do when you get bored, you make do with anything around you. And for me, the webcam became my slave for late nights adventure. Ok bye. WORK in a few hours.
Hari Raya + Birthday's
Alright, i wanna say thank you to the millions of birthday messages via phone, Facebook, msn's, video conferencing, whatever. It was much appreciated guys! For those who had forgotten, NEMIND, there's always next year and you owe me double the gifts from this year roar. Ok enough of being shameless. And seriously, Facebook dominated the world of technology. I received millions of wishes there than phone or whatsnot. Hurray to FB!
I turned 23 on the eve of Hari Raya, it doesn't get any better than that, double the celebrations. To make it even more better, i'm celebrating it at my new place for the first time ever. It was swell, managed to spruce things up by Raya actually. The irritating part, are the coughs. The neverending coughs. I coughed so bad that now my kidney has sharp pains every now and then. Ergh. Hari Raya is not helping lor. With the amount of heaty food and glorious cakes and such; it is impossible for me to stay away from them.
This year's Raya is the best of the whole lot that i went through. It's rather hillarious to see families after families storming to my new tiny abode on the 1st day of Raya, causing quite a commotion. It was so crowded that i think next year, those polyclinic number system should be implemented. Or families take turn or rotate around the living and dining room. My relatives were thrown everywhere, literally everywhere. Everyone loved my new place, a cosy and pretty little home they say. =) Alright, I'm gonna upload some Hari Raya pictures for now, more visiting tonight! Ciaoz.
A few selfwhoring to start the day! And, yes i'm satorially decked in black and gold this year.
Kuih Lapis.
My Uncle Ally and Auntie Tip, talking about the world. lol.
My relatives from Johor, and honestly my uncle looks like Santa gone wrong here. HAHA he wet his shirt and is drying it in my room thus the get up. And my nephew there, i swear his life is attached to his PSP, kids these days. TSK.
More and more relatives, the chinese ones as well here.
And what do we watch on the first day of Raya, SOCCER!
Rendang, Ketupats, whatsnot, things that are so not helping me with my killer throat.
My niece, nephew and cousin.
HOHOHO the highlight of Raya, KETUPAT!
More relatives. Haha
The best macarooonsss in the world!
This is the cutest creature alive lar. He is my nephew Hadi. He hugs my dining chair like there's no end to the world, and he even rode on my cat. SUPERRRRRRRRR CUTEEEEEEEE LA HADIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
My uncle and auntie with grandmama yo, plus my cousin Yanti at the side videorecording haha.
"...hari raya is dope yo!..."
